Hindsight is an amazing thing…

I always thought I had never been bullied. When the topic ever came up, I would always say I had only been bullied for one afternoon when an older girl –let’s call her R- stopped me and my friends after lunch and said we weren’t allowed in the school until she gave us permission. A teacher soon found us outside and escorted us in, thinking we were skiving off lessons because we wanted to play for longer. R never bothered us again and we continued as normal.

I was scared of R for that afternoon – that’s why I followed her command. But I always found it strange that one girl managed to scare 3 of us. Why didn’t we laugh in her face? Why didn’t we turn the tables? Questions I wish I could have asked the younger me.

A recent conversation with Alye made me realise that I had been bullied more than I had admitted in the past.. In secondary school, for 1 year, a boy systematically spat, swore and kicked my sister and I. His mum was always around him, yet instead of reprimanding her son, she threatened us as believed we were tormenting him! I never told my parents. I didn’t think they would believe me, I thought it would cause problems in the long run, and I didn’t want to be a ‘grass’. The issue was resolved when the boy swore at us while we were in the car with my uncle. Big mistake. My uncle stopped the car, chased him and told him to never come near us again. Luckily, he never did.

I’ll be honest, the reason I didn’t class that as bullying was because after a while I got sick of the abuse and retaliated. I kicked, swore and hit back and tried to make him into a laughing stock wherever possible in school.  I felt as though I was entitled to that as surely it was my revenge to take? Looking back on it makes me feel pangs of regret.  I lowered myself to his level when I didn’t need to and became a bully myself.

I didn’t tell an adult because I didn’t think it would help, but only when an adult found out did it stop. I wish I had told someone rather than taking a kicking for a year. It’s crucial to speak out because staying silent never leads to satisfactory consequences. Even if you are too scared to tell anyone, make it easy for them to find out. Make it public. It will make you a happier person, honest.

 

Hindsight is an amazing thing.

 

Written by a Guest Blogger who wishes to remain annonymous

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